


BuzzFeed Presents...

by Punny



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Best Friends, Crack, Description of nudity, Embarrassment, Funny, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, One Shot, Roommates, Sexual Humor, USUK - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-06
Updated: 2018-07-06
Packaged: 2019-06-06 02:30:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15184772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Punny/pseuds/Punny
Summary: Alfred convinces his best friend Arthur to participate with him in BuzzFeed's newest video sensation: 'Guy Friends See Each Other Naked For the First Time', and things get a little steamier than either of them anticipated! USUK





	BuzzFeed Presents...

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written in 2015 and is based on a humorous BuzzFeed video on YouTube called 'Guy Friends See Each Other Naked for the First Time', so you should watch the short video before reading this story since it'll make more sense.  
> And a very special thanks to Zeplerfer for being my beta reader!

"No. Nope. Absolutely not. 100% never. No. It's not happening."

"But Arthur—"

"Nope. Don't even suggest it again, Alfred. We are NOT participating in a 'social experiment' or whatever nonsense that flyer is advertising. Stop looking at me like that. My answer is final, NO."

"But Arthur, just hear me out for a sec here, don't think about the embarrassing part. Think of the cash we would get as a reward! $800 each! Man, we would finally be able to get a decent TV instead of that crappy piece of shit we have right now—"

"Excuse me! That antique television was my grandmother's—" 

"And you could finally watch all your lame soap operas in high definition and I'd be able to watch good ol' football on the big screen! It's sooo worth it, dude." 

The American man stared into the hardened green eyes across from him, begging them to relent. Unfortunately for Alfred, they still did not concede defeat. Why wouldn't Arthur understand? As young adults trying to survive in the real world, they needed any money they could get their hands on! And maybe, Alfred was just a teeny bit curious what his friend looked like naked, not that he would ever admit it. Arthur would probably castrate him if he knew Alfred had thought about it (more than once). 

Alfred watched on in hope as the green-eyed man skimmed the first few sentences of the flyer again. 

 

_You and your best friend have the opportunity to be in our next BuzzFeed video sensation: 'Guy Friends See Each Other Naked For The First Time'!_

_For participation in this video, you and your best friend will receive $800 each! Check below for more details!_  

 

Arthur looked up from the flyer with a fervent blush. "Where did you even get such a heinous thing?" he demanded. 

"That's not important. C'mon Artie! It says in the fine print that we would only be naked for a few minutes! We just make funny comments and shit about each other and then we get paid! No harm, no foul, no homo. Come ooooon! It's such easy cash!" 

"Have you even thought for a moment how humiliating this will be? Our friends and family would see it and make fun of us for an eternity! We would forever be known as the two men who sold our dignity for a bit of cash, and-" 

Alfred groaned loudly, effectively cutting Arthur off, as he rolled his eyes to the ceiling. Why did his best friend have to be the most stubborn human being on the planet? "Okay, first, they're looking for three pairs of guy friends to do it, so we wouldn't be the only ones! Plus, they're just filming the top halves of our bodies, it's not like the video will even show our private parts! It's just stupid humor, people eat that kind of shit up nowadays. They love seeing guys in awkward situations!" 

A few seconds of heavy silence loomed over them as Arthur stared back angrily. "There is no way in hell I will be in that video," he declared with finality.

Being faced with the certainty of defeat, Alfred knew he had to change tactics. He brought out his biggest and most heart-wrenching puppy look, forcing his eyes to be glassy and adorable. "But, Artie...then we'll never get a nice tv...we could really _really_ use that money..." He made sure to use his small charming voice, complete with quivering bottom lip. 

Arthur's eyes softened a tad at the sight, but even Alfred could tell it wasn't enough to get what he wanted. Dammit, looks like he would have to bring out his final boss move. If this didn't get Arthur to change his mind then nothing would. He sighed dishearteningly, "Okay Arthur. I understand if you're too uncomfortable. I guess I'll just have to ask Francis to be in the video with me instead; even though I'm not exactly best friends with him, I'm sure he would still agree." He then started to turn away, pretending to leave the room. Not even a second later, he felt a hand grab his arm to stop him. 

"NO! You are absolutely NOT asking that bloody frog to participate in the video with you! Are you completely mad?!" 

"I'm gonna be in the video whether you like it or not, okay? I am in major need of some cash right now and it's the easiest way to get it! So either you're doing it with me or I'm asking Francis right now!" 

It was hilarious seeing Arthur's face perform an array of emotions in only a few seconds, and Alfred could see the exact moment his friend stopped weighing the options to come to his decision. Arthur's head lowered, defeated. "Fine. You bloody prat. You owe me tremendously for this." 

"HAHA! YES!" The taller man hugged his best friend/roommate tightly. "The filming for the video takes place next week! I'll go give the BuzzFeed people a call right now to confirm our participation! You won't regret this, Arthur, I swear!" 

* * *

"I regret this. Terribly."

The two men sat in the BuzzFeed studio waiting area, waiting for the receptionist, Angelique, to call their names. Alfred sat comfortably, gazing around the room at the various framed paintings, while Arthur, on the other hand, could hardly sit still from the nerves coursing his body. 

"It's not too late to back out. We can still leave with our dignity if we go _right now_." 

Alfred spared a sidelong glance at his fidgety friend, poor guy looked like he was having a panic attack. He felt a slight stab of guilt, _slight_. "Relax bro, it's gonna be over before you know it!"

"I hate that they're forcing us to assess each other's nude body! It's completely undignified!"

"C'mon, it's not that crazy. You honestly can't tell me that you've never seen a dick before. Like in the locker room in high school or something? Or when you were younger and lived with your brothers? We've all accidentally caught a glimpse of another dude's meat stick-- doesn't mean you're gay or nothin'."

"Never, ever call it a 'meat stick' again, Alfred."

"Fair enough."

They lapsed into silence, the clicking of the receptionist's keyboard the only noise filling the small waiting room. After what felt like a lifetime for Arthur, two men with shoulder-length hair emerged from the studio doors, a brunet man looking scarred for life and a blond man whistling contentedly. The two men stopped in front of the receptionist's desk. 

"Alright, looks like you're done, Toris and Feliks! First, please sign the consent and release forms." The two men scribbled their signatures. "Now here is your cash, and the full video should be up on YouTube in about three weeks!" The receptionist said with a wink. "Thank you very much for your participation today in this social experiment!" 

The two men said their goodbyes and made their way out of the building. Arthur's heart rate sped up. "Did you see that one man's face? He looked like he was going to hurl! Oh god, this is a terrible mistake..."

"Alfred and Arthur, you're up next. Please enter through those doors and make a right. Your robes are in the changing rooms. After you're both done, you can meet Elizaveta and Kiku by the cameras."

"Okie dokie!" Alfred shouted gleefully, grabbing Arthur's arm to lead him through the doors. He couldn't wait to get his hands on that sweet, sweet cash.

Feeling Arthur drag his feet, Alfred unceremoniously shoved his friend into his designated changing room, saying, "the faster you get changed, the faster we can get this over with!" He heard grumbling from Arthur's room, but when he cheerfully offered to help Arthur change, the grumbling was quickly replaced by the sound of rustling of fabric.

As soon as the two of them had their white robes securely in place, they found a man and woman, presumably Kiku and Elizaveta, waiting for them. The stage contained a few video cameras and some spotlights pointing down at the area where Alfred and Arthur would have to stand. There was also a thin 4 1/2 foot-high sheet that would act as the barrier to prevent the cameras from capturing any footage of the two men's private areas during the entire exchange. At least Arthur could be thankful that some of his privacy would remain intact. 

"Ah! There you two are! It's a pleasure to meet you both," the woman said with a broad smile as they all swapped brief greetings. "Now, I'm going to have you two stand behind that sheet there, yes like that, and when we start filming you're going to introduce only your first names, and say why you consider the other person your best friend. We'll be watching from the recording studio, but you canjust speak up if you need anything."

Alfred and Arthur both nodded in understanding, although Arthur was growing more and more green in the face. Elizaveta took notice instantly. "Arthur, dear, if for any reason you want to cut the session short, just let us know. Or if you'd like a glass of water, please don't be afraid to ask." 

"Oh he'll be fine! He's just being a pussy!" Alfred exclaimed with a laugh, earning a death glare from Arthur.

"No I am not, don't use such vulgar language! Tsh, honestly." He took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for the inevitable. "Okay, I'm ready." 

"Excellent. You may start talking when you see the red light," Kiku said. Then, he and Elizaveta opened the door to the adjacent recording studio, leaving Alfred and Arthur alone. Just a few moments later, a red light above the video camera flicked on, signaling the two men it was time.

"Hey! I'm Alfred and this is my best friend, Arthur," Alfred exclaimed happily. This was so easy for him; he loved anything that allowed him to be the center of attention. "I met him in college so we've known each other for about five years now. And if I was gonna give a reason why Arthur is my best friend…I'd have to say it's because I'm probably one of the only people who can handle his pissy attitude." Alfred ignored the indignant huff from the man in front of him and continued. "I also think he's one of the only people I've met that doesn't mind how loud I can be. Well, he complains a lot about it but I know he doesn't actually mean it. It's just how we work, yanno? Like we understand each other which is why we've been roomies for a while. And I don't know about him, but I've definitely had a blast!" After finishing his spiel, Alfred looked to Arthur for any input or commentary.

Realizing he should at least say something, Arthur finally looked at the video camera to say, "Well I've certainly lost a good number of brain cells in the lad's presence, but I suppose, overall, our friendship has been an enjoyable experience." 

"Ha! There ya go, see? It ain't that hard to compliment me every once in a while!" Alfred clapped his hand on Arthur's back. 

"Don't press your luck, boy," he bit out, wincing slightly at the contact. 

"Great job!" Elizaveta called over the speakers. "Now for the fun part. Please stand back-to-back and remove your robes." 

Alfred and Arthur did as they were told, facing away from each other as they undid the ties keeping their robes in place. They both shivered as their nude bodies met the chilly air of the studio. Arthur closed his eyes, once again feeling a rise of panic in chest; he could do this, it wasn't a big deal right? He was a man, for crying out loud! He could handle seeing his best friend naked. It didn't matter that he had been beginning to question his sexuality lately and that his best friend was very good-looking. It didn't matter. It _didn't matter_. But what if Alfred made any inappropriate comments about his body, or his ....you know? Arthur wasn't the largest in that category, but he was still plenty big! How big would Alfred be? Oh god, he couldn't do this.

He must have been spacing for a little while because he started to hear Elizaveta's boisterous voice breaking through his thoughts. "Now, both of you will turn to face each other at the count of three! Ready? 1…2…3!" 

Arthur mustered up the shambles of his bravery and turned around quickly, but instead of looking at Alfred's body, he chose to focus his attention on the back of the studio. Now seemed like as good a time as any to study the pattern of the red bricks on that one wall. Yes. 

Alfred, on the other hand, had not had any inhibitions about this experience until right at that very moment. Because when he turned around to face Arthur and raked his eyes down his friend's nude form, he realized that he could not for the life of him tear his eyes away, especially from Arthur's…ehm…family jewels. His eyes grew wide as he took in the contours of the man's body. The v-shape of his hip bones and the tightness of his stomach, damn, and that dick _holy shit_. Now Alfred wasn't gay, but he knew a nice cock when he saw one. It wasn't even that big but it was thick, and proportionate, and the tip was so smooth and pink, and fuck why was Arthur's penis so perfect? Never once glancing away, he didn't even notice when he licked his lips or gulped so hard his Adam's apple bobbed noticeably. He did, however, notice when his own cock gave a very slight jump of its own. Oh shit. But that's not possible; because he wasn't gay—right? _Right?_

He finally tore his eyes away from Arthur's perfect physique to assess his own little growing problem; he stared at his slowly hardening dick like it was some sort of alien creature. This couldn't happen to him. What would Arthur think? He quickly looked up at his friend's face, but even though Arthur was bright red and incredibly tense, it appeared as though he hadn't once even snuck a peek in Alfred's direction; instead he was staring at the studio wall so intently it looked as though his face would explode. 

At that moment, Alfred realized he had a second problem. He didn't want Arthur to see his erection, but they wouldn't get their cash until he did. Deciding it was better to just get it over with rather than draw it out any longer, Alfred took a deep breath. "Hey, Arthur. Eyes down here, buddy. We don't get paid if you don't look."

Arthur gave the wall one final look of pure fear before deciding, _fuck it-I've come this far_ , and finally turning his head to look at Alfred. He was not prepared for the sight before him. All he could think of was _so many muscles_ as his eyes rested on Alfred's strong arms, the bulkiness of his pecs, those abs! Everything about this man was down-right gorgeous. As he gave the full up-and-down, Arthur felt his face heat up; Alfred was very well-endowed in his nether regions. And by god, it was half hard! As it began to stand proud and tall, it pointed directly at Arthur's slack-jawed expression. Arousal was swimming behind Arthur's eyes, he wanted his best friend, and he wanted him bad. He wondered what Alfred was thinking about the whole situation, but he was a little too preoccupied to assess Alfred's facial expressions at the moment.

Alfred, however, was gauging Arthur's reaction carefully; he saw the lust brimming Arthur's eyes, he saw Arthur's eyes trained on him-especially _that_ part. That was a good sign, right? Every inch of his body was urging him forward, to claim this man. Even though he had never considered himself gay before, if his entire being was craving Arthur, why would he deny himself the pleasure? 

He began to inch himself forward, and noticed dutifully that Arthur's body drew in as well, almost magnetically. They kept stepping closer, drawn to each other in the heat of the moment. 

"You look good," Alfred mumbled. 

"So do you," Arthur replied breathlessly. He looked over Alfred's body one more time before settling his eyes on Alfred's hunger-driven expression. Damn it all, this was really happening wasn't it? 

Alfred smiled soothingly at Arthur then, an attempt to settle his nerves perhaps, and gently grasped Arthur's smaller hand to guide it down and wrap around Alfred's hard cock. Arthur's breath hitched as he stroked the beautifully endowed man in front of him, and even though Alfred was struggling with his self-control at that point, he still found it in himself to take Arthur's face in his hands and kiss him soundly on the lips. Everything about this felt so perfect, their breaths mingling and bare skin touching, it was like they were made to fit together this way. No longer feeling the need to stand, they found their way down on the floor of the studio to continue what they started, their pants and groans echoing off the studio walls.

* * *

"Should... should we interrupt them?" Elizaveta asked in a daze, holding a tissue against her nose to stem the flow of blood.

"I suggest we give them some privacy," Kiku replied, politely flicking off the video cameras. He grabbed a tissue for himself and led his coworker out the studio doors into the waiting area. 

From behind her desk, Angelique glanced up and gave them an inquisitive look, silently questioning why they both had nosebleeds and why they had come out of the studio before the two men did. 

Elizaveta chose to ignore the quizzical look, turning her focus instead to the next two participants currently seated in the waiting room.  

"Hello, you two must be Feliciano and Ludwig! It's a pleasure to meet you both, I'm Elizaveta and this is Kiku." 

"Ah ciao! We are both so happy to be here! Aren't we Ludwig?" The taller man next to him just grumbled in response. "I always wanted to be a YouTube star! This will be so much fun!" During the one second of silence that followed, all five people in the waiting area heard a muffled, but very distinct moan coming from inside the studio. All eyes were glued to the studio doors. 

Feliciano was the first one to react. "They sound like they're having such a good time! I can't wait until it's our turn, Ludwig!"

“...Scheiße.”

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was a lot of fun to write since I loved that BuzzFeed video; there's nothing better than seeing embarrassed naked guys :)


End file.
